Viagra Fools

I stayed with my brother terry for a while and I needed one more trip to Spain to retrieve my furniture as it was desperately required for me to make a new start in Elsham Road and re let the spare bedrooms and rebuild my life. So I flew to Spain with Terry and we loaded my little Renault Clio to the hilt and drove across Spain and France to the ferry and by a miracle and not being pulled over for overloading the roof rack we reached Dover and finally across the Channel and then 7 Elsham Road , Holland Park, London W 14.

This induced me to write my poem reflecting all the fabulous times and history during my stay in that wonderful apartment. I went on to rent the rooms out, I sign on a disability allowance due to depression, I met Maiyuko the singer who I managed until I passed her on to Chris Rears Manager Paul Lillie. You were working at Blockbuster at Turnham Green at the time. My life was finally coming together; I had pulled and battled myself out of purgatory, a nightmare of financial hell and lunacy. Shortly after in fact during this time my relationship with Vanessa begun.

After Vanessa I sold 7 Elsham Road as property was on the up again, I received a certain amount of money under the counter and acquired South brink Hall from a property auction. This was my new beginning. I remortgaged South Brink hall as it was now refurbished and put two deposits down on the apartments at the Elephant and castle, living on the poverty line, I lived on reduced item shopping at Tesco, Monty was my company, and I started my job driving in the film industry, I sold one apartment at the Elephant after selling South Brink hall and then purchased Lilliput Hall in Bermondsey, then the land in Wales. (Purchased jointly with Johnny for five thousand pounds each while I lived in Elsham Road) Later the Welsh land sold at Auction for handsome profit. Morpeth Street Bethnal Green was purchased when Clark was working for the Estate Agent there. Then I purchased Cannes apartment and entered into relationship with Jane. Soon after meeting Jane I purchased Wickham road, I disposed of all the London properties and the Cannes apartment and now I am in Pattaya. It is so ironic that I have safeguarded my money from strangers and it turned out that my own family (My brother Johnny and my Daughter Wendy) has been the ones to steal my money.

(How cruel is that?)

This is the truth, as much as I regret the final outcome with myself and Angela. I was in an impossible situation. We had all become victims of an unstable British economy and Nigel Lawson’s fuck ups. This is the truth as I remember it. If anyone sees this differently or refutes this saga they are not telling the truth. Ask anyone you like that was in the property business at the time and they will verify all I have written regarding the recession.

During all the trials and tribulations life has slung at me YOU WENDY AND CLARK HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AT THE FOREFRONT OF MY THOUGHTS, because at the end of the day you and your welfare were all that really mattered to me. You and Clark have always been more important to me than anything or anyone.

Your Mother went on to meet Jed and on her feet, and has been well supported ever since.

My only grudge against my family is that none of you have ever given me one ounce of praise, patted me on the back, said well done Dad for getting back on your feet and overcoming such a loss at your age. Well done for doing your best to still think about us kids and help provide for us as and when you can.

Clark I can safely say is a truly wonderful and loyal Son,( fucking hard work at times,) and of course made some silly mistakes but has shown me commitment by being there for me many times with his unconditional support.

One thing that was apparent though? I got not one iota of sympathy from anyone regarding my losses and hell hole and wilderness of Bankruptcy. But I will tell you something? Had the property boom lasted one or two more years my initial plan would have worked and the total value of my property would have been four to five million pounds with borrowings of two and a quarter million pounds leaving three million gross for Angela and me.

If I had succeeded in earning big money, everyone would have been standing there with their greedy selfish hands out waiting to spend it. Instead I became a condemned man I slipped off to Spain to quietly suffer a nervous breakdown because I had no where else to go. What for FUN? Then I returned and worked my bollacks off, What for FUN? I traveled for three years up and down the M11; I rolled my sleeves up and set about restoring South Brink Hall, damaging my spine in the process. What for FUN? Then I did a years film driving on 24 hour call in between obtaining impossible finance because I was an outcast. What for FUN? I lived in the Elephant and Castle at below the breadline and made many sacrifices. What for FUN? In order to get back into the realms of normality I shopped at Tesco’s seeking out reduced items for almost a year. What for FUN? During this entire nightmare situation, it was my family that was constantly in my thoughts. Do you honestly think I went through Bankruptcy hell while all the time I had hidden money?

I finished up a broken man and the poems in my book describe and reflect my feelings at the time. Wendy, during all the years you have professed to love me. My initial opinion of your mother after me and her parted was that she was a good person, but on occasions a little dim. I was shocked when she adopted this attitude of me hiding money and I think; in fact know that all her vicious acts are built on assumption and not of true facts.

Have you ever wondered or stopped to consider, what if Mum is wrong or lying? What if Dad really is a nice person?

After all I never really have heard Dads side of the story? Your Mother abandoned you and Clark, dropped you like a hot brick in fact, and chose to cohabitate with Jed. Jed who turned out to be a mean, miserly selfish man who mysteriously justifies omitting Angela from his legacy. This is after being in a longer relationship than our marriage. Why? “I will tell you why” Because of the lies and falsehoods your mother inflicted upon him regarding me and my non existent money.

The poisoning of his mind had once again worked. Her venomous tongue once again had struck, but this time she created so much hate in Jed’s mind towards me that it went against her, and now Jed refuses Marriage and leaving her any money. The situation has kicked back on her. It’s the Karma at work slowly but surely putting things to right. And now Jed, as well as you falsely accuse and wrongly blame me. Think about it Wendy, I do not know Jed, I met him only once when I procured a job for your Mother in a florist shop in my property in Little Venice. W e only met just the once to say hello. I do not know him and he does not know me .Yet he hates my guts. He has only founded and based this hate on your Mother’s lies about me He has never listened to my side of the story either. One thing I can not for the life of me understand is why Jed bases his financial decisions regarding Angela on my behaviour.

It’s his and Angela’s whole new ball game, so what the fuck has a previous relationship got to do with it? His explanation does not gel with me, I think he is using it as an excuse; I would go as far as to as he is using me as a Scapegoat for him not to marry and endanger his own assets. I know for a fact that Jed is a wealthy man and has assets to give. Millions of marriages all over the world break up but it does not stop people from financially committing themselves to a new partner. Why won’t he? Something bothers me about this strange attitude he portrays, ulterior motives to evade financial commitment I suspect. In any event I think he is being totally unfair and unreasonable under the circumstances. And deep down I suspect that you and your Mother do also.

If I am such a nasty person as you, your Mother and Jed think I am .How come I have so many friends, long and short term, so many admirers, and so many younger associates that have expressed they wished they had a Father like me? (Your own Brother Clark will bear that out)

I know one thing one hundred percent for sure, if you had listened to me and taken advice from me instead of your Mother, you would be by far a better and happier person. Your own common sense tells you that a Father wants the best for his Daughter, will do his utmost not to hurt or endanger his Daughter.

Who after Angela and I split drove from London to Northwood every day to see and cook dinner for the kids? ME.

Who advised that not talking to each other after separating would be seriously detrimental for the children? And leave it wide open for them to play us against each other.

ME.

Who after the split refused to keep important communication channels open so Mother and Father could discuss their children and no doubt damaged them greatly from puberty to maturity? YOU’RE MOTHER. Who started a small business and worked till midnight most days and weekends and expanded to grow into a seventy thousand pound a week turnover, during the eighties? Who was the perfect model Husband and Father and then purchased an imposing residence in an exclusive private road? ME.

Who at first was a model Mother and Wife and then began to take me for granted? YOU’RE MOTHER.

I am far from perfect, I’ve sometimes ventured off the track, been tactless and out spoken, but never physically hit Angela, never come home pissed and left porn films scattered on the sofa for young kids to find in the morning. Never continuously got drunk and abusive, been unfaithful or cheated while I loved and respected my wife. But what ever transpired...